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Today, I'm grateful for a phone call that went like this:


Me: "Hello?"
Anonymous Relative: "Hi! I have an idea for a blog post for you!"
Me: "Okay? What's that?"
Anonymous Relative: "How to clean and organize! So I can read it!"

So without further ado, I proudly present:

How To Have A Clean House Without Cleaning Your House

Here's the thing. My house is never clean. Never. I despise vacuuming even more than scrubbing a toilet, and would be mortified for you to walk on my floors in your white socks. (Lucky for me, my husband is more of a deep-cleaner where I'm more of a picker-upper, so we're a pretty good team.) And don't even get me started on dusting because I'm certain you can write your name in thick dust on the shelf above my couch. My idea of dusting is wiping off a lamp with a dirty sock on my way to the laundry room. That being said, my house is always picked up. And I guess it's because I have a system. It's not rocket science, but rather things I've incorporated into my daily routine. And it works for me. So at the request of people who are feeling submerged in their stuff, here are some "routines" that help me keep things neat and orderly. And if you do this all the time, you will NEVER be overwhelmed. I promise.

Tip #1 - Clean up as you go.

Shocking, I know. But it really makes a world of difference. Any time you dirty a dish, put it straight into the dishwasher. If you fix a sandwich, put the turkey and mayo back in the fridge before you sit down to eat. After you eat dinner, put the scraps in the garbage disposal (or trash. Or into a compost pile if you're one of those tree-hugging people) and tidy up! I can have my entire kitchen spic and span in less than five minutes after dinner is done... simply because I empty the scraps, load the dishwasher, and wipe down the countertops as soon as we're done eating. And then you run the dishwasher every night, empty it every morning while your coffee is brewing, and start all over again!

Tip #2 - Fold your laundry while it's still warm.

Don't get me wrong, I am the queen of re-drying the laundry to get the wrinkles out (and re-washing because I forget a load in the washing machine for a couple days until it sours!). But on a good day, if I fold the clothes straight from the dryer piece by piece (as in: remove a shirt, fold it, stack it in the basket, remove a towel, fold it, stack it in the basket), I never have to iron. And I never have a basket of clean, wrinkled laundry staring at me that I know I won't iron later.

Tip #3 - Group chores into one trip.

Going upstairs to pee? Take this basket of clean, folded laundry with you! And put it away while you're up there! Going outside to check the mail? Take this bag of trash out as you go! Headed to the bedroom to change clothes? Take these shoes with you and put them in the closet! 

Tip #4 - Trash the trash.

Every time I check the mail, I immediately trash the trash. That means: don't pile your mail on the table. Go through it right now, toss the flyers, toss the junk, toss the envelopes that claim "you may already be a Publisher's Clearinghouse Winner!" Now open the bills and put them straight in your checkbook -- that way you know what's due on payday and it's all right there in one place.

Tip #5 - Always keep a basket empty for cleanup.

This idea was shared by a friend, and I couldn't believe I hadn't thought of it before! Pure genius! When you have a few minutes to pick up toys all over the house (and this could work with anything from books, shoes, or laundry), throw everything into the basket. Now when you go to put it away, it's all right there in one place so you aren't going back and forth making multiple trips and wasting precious time. I toss all kinds of toys, puzzle pieces, pretend food, etc into my empty laundry basket and head for the playroom. And I can have everything put away in a snap!

Tip #6 - Keep stuff off the floor.

The largest level surface in your home is the floor. And when it's cluttered, you start to feel overwhelmed. Have shoes piled by the door? Put them in a wicker basket so it looks neater. Does your daughter have so many toys in her room that you have to clear a path to her bed? Hang a shelf on the wall for her stuffed animals and grab a few colored bins from the dollar store (so you can't see all the stuff inside) to keep her Barbies and coloring books in. And while you're at it, pick up some plain index cards, a Sharpie marker, and some clear packing tape to make super cheap labels for the bins. Now she can put her own toys away while you're loading the dishwasher after dinner.

Tip #7 - Make your bed every morning. As soon as you get up.

If your bed is made, your room immediately looks cleaner. And if you keep clothes off the floor, it looks spotless. Believe me.

Tip #8 - Use that hamper!

When you take off dirty clothes, put them in the hamper. This doesn't mean to toss your pants in the direction of the hamper and be satisfied when they land on the lid. This means all dirty clothes go in with nothing hanging over the side. And when it's full, take it to the washing machine. If you do a load of laundry every day (leave the washer running while you're gone to the grocery store, picking up the kids from school, sleeping at night), you will never be up to your eyeballs in dirty laundry!

Now. Go pretend to clean. And don't forget to light a lemon-scented candle or toss an orange down the garbage disposal so your house smells wonderful and your husband thinks you've slaved all day on housework. Not that I ever do that. ;)

If you're thirsty for more ideas, visit The Nester's "31 Days To A Less-Messy Nest". She has 31 links that are sure to even help Fred Sanford get organized.